My Musical Composition in the Making

The conductor raises his baton as he prepares to direct the Orchestra. As I eagerly await the initiation of the music, the room is dead silent and the lights dim. Then, without further delay the conductor gives his downbeat and the orchestra is off. First a melody is stated by muted brass, as if something is coming from far off in the distance. Then the strings take over with the main melody, portraying a triumphant yet melancholic march to the gallows. What follows is a trade-off between strings and winds ending with a one of the great climaxes in music. This is The March to the Scaffold, a movement out of Symphony Fantastique by Hector Berlioz. The powerful music moved me.

To this point my life has been much like a musical composition that is filled with countless emotions. I have experienced so many moments of happiness, sadness and pride that are all related in one way or another to music. When I am happy I am drawn to the music of Copland and Dvorak that is bright, dancelike and joyful. During times of sadness in my life I am filled with music that is dark, somber, and oppressive like the requiems of Mozart, Verdi and Berlioz. Yet, when I experience a great sense of accomplishment and pride I find myself imagining triumphant and uplifting music that is bold, filled with major tonalities and powerful chords such as the great British music of Holst and Vaughn Williams. Because of these life experiences I am convinced music is one of the key ingredients of human existence and that all human beings have emotional connections with music. That is why there are so many genres of music. They are necessary to accommodate all people and all human emotions.

As far back as I can remember and beyond I could hear music. Much like a composer hearing a composition in his mind before he puts it on paper and it comes to life. You see, before I was born, my dad created a tape recording to place on my mom’s stomach so that I could experience great music even before I entered the world. After I was born, that music became a part of my sleeping routine. It filled my room every time I went to bed at night as well as every time I took a nap. That music became a part of me. It provided a foundation of total relaxation, creating the ideal environment for me to sleep peacefully. As a result I soon could not go to sleep without it just like I can’t imagine my life without music today.

As I journeyed through childhood my music became more complex. Very much as a composer develops his musical ideas my music experiences expanded as I attended concerts regularly and spent time with my parents in their “musical world.” At this point I knew what music was and I understood what it meant to our family. But I had yet to pinpoint what music truly meant to me. It simply had not occurred to me how much emotion exists music. Sure I got excited when the music became loud, but that was about it. Then I began piano lessons, my fundamental ideas began to blossom thus setting the stage for whatever music activities I would take part in as the future unfolded. No, I did not always enjoy practicing mostly because I was still trying to discover the true value of it all. Even so, these early piano experiences would certainly shape my perception of music later on.

Then came middle school. This was my chance to select an instrument to play in band. Having played drums in an Orff Percussion Ensemble in elementary school where I experienced all kinds of rhythmic activity, I felt certain I would be a percussionist. My parents tried extremely hard to convince me otherwise, accomplishing their goal telling me that I would have to wait a long time during a piece of music while everyone else was having fun with me simply waiting to play my cymbal crash to signal the end of the music. They won. Without much thought, I settled on trombone. I thought it looked cool and I was fascinated with the possibility of moving that long shiny slide to change notes.

While beginning to learn trombone in the 6th grade didn’t mean so much to me, a trip to Chicago to attend one of the world’s largest music conferences was a life changing experience. It was the winter of my 6th grade year. In addition to all the exciting events related to the conference, my parents took me to the Science and Industry Museum, the Art Institute, and more importantly a performance of the Chicago Symphony. The musical composition of my life took on a whole new meaning. I fell in love with this new world — the weather, the buildings, AND, more importantly, the symphony. This was actually the first time that I had heard a world-class professional orchestra. I felt something inside me, something that gave me the crazy idea that I wanted to do that. I yearned to be a part of a professional orchestra, play that music, and interact with musicians of that level in a city of such grandeur. Things started to come into perspective.

I had a dream and I dedicated myself to it. During the rest of my middle school years and early high school years I enjoyed many successes and I embellished the musical composition of my life. On several occasions I was selected the best trombone player from schools throughout Austin and I got to return to Chicago and actually perform a concert there with the Hill Country Middle School Band. Yet again, the following year I returned to Chicago and performed with the Austin Symphonic Band that my dad conducts. Low and behold the following year the Westlake Orchestra performed in Chicago. That made three years in a row that I performed in the “city of my dreams.” I was told that this was the first time that a student had ever performed at this prestigious conference three years in a row. I was hearing the proud music of Holst again.

Fate was kind to me once more. When Austin Symphonic Band performed in Chicago my family was invited to a birthday party for the acting principle clarinet player in the Chicago Symphony. There I met James Gilbertsen who is co-principal trombone player with Chicago. We connected immediately and the interaction further affirmed that I wanted to play trombone professionally. It was like introducing a new theme to the musical composition of my life.

Then back in Austin there was Marcus Dueñez, a senior at Westlake High School. Marcus was the best trombone player at Westlake. I looked up to him like a hero. I dreamed of being like him as I dreamed of be like Alex Glen, another talented trombone player that graduated from Westlake a few years before Marcus. I wanted to sit next to Marcus in Wind Ensemble, so that I could be like him and mimic his sound; but it didn’t turn out that way. I was selected to be the first chair player as a freshman. He was lower in the section. I was surprised and shocked. But I knew I had to persevere. I set new goals and finished my freshman year, being a superior performer at the state level in three events including a trombone solo, piano solo and trombone quartet. I learned to accept disappointment, set new goals, and dedicate myself to them.

Today I know that music has shaped my life as my “musical composition” continues. If you can believe it I used to want to be an aeronautical engineer and design plans for a living. But, now I know. My goal is to be a part of music for the rest of my life. I am now open to all kinds of music and willing to listen to and interpret their meanings (Except for pop. I loathe pop!). Fortunately the symphony of my life has a long way to go, giving me many other opportunities to experience music, expand my musical thoughts and share them with my fellowman. Let the music of my life continue!